Missing Magic

Yesterday, I saw a Monarch butterfly for the first time this summer.

And I thought, "It's been almost three months since Magic died." It seems like it was longer.

I still miss him. Oh, it's not so sharp or so immediate that I cry every time I think about him. I remember more of the funny things he did.

I'm not beating myself over signs I should have noticed, or the issues surrounding the eating of socks. Because it was an accident. We never let him play with socks. We didn't leave socks laying around. He stole the socks from places we didn't realize he could get to, until it was too late. Okay, maybe I'm still beating myself just a little bit.

Sometimes I think I will hear the little sigh he used to make when he put his head down on my foot. When the alarm goes off and I'm half asleep, sometimes I still expect to feel the bed bounce as he jumps up to make sure we are absolutely, positively awake and getting up.

I think the hardest part is that he was just a baby. Old dogs, well, in our house old dogs have led a good life. All old pets, for that matter. They get fed well. They have toys. They are warm in the winter, and have cool places to go in the summer. They are de-flead, brushed, and taken to the vet. They get lots and lots of pets, and hugs, and treats. Toys are tossed.
Some of them are rescued from certain death. They have good lives. When they get old and sick, no matter how hard it is, we let them go. We don't want them to suffer. They have been as happy as dogs who aren't allowed to roll in dead things, and cats who aren't allowed to kill every little thing can be.

Magic was just a baby. He won't ever get to go swimming in a lake in the summer. For him the world outside was mostly a rainy, cold place. Not that he minded - he was a happy dog. The world was just waking up when he left it.

I think he would have liked butterflies.

Summer Sickness

Once again I have come down with some kind of summer crud.

It's not turning into a cold, as yet. It just kind of hangs around, giving me cold chills with no fever, a horrible sinus headache with no corresponding drippy nose. Even though I feel horrible, I couldn't say exactly how. Kind of achy, but not really. Scratchy throat, but only if I talk for very long.

It makes me feel bad enough I didn't go to work for two days, and instead slept for most of them. Under 6 layers of blankets because of the chills.

I am finally feeling a little better this afternoon, so I am washing the sheets, and doing a few chores around the house, taking rests in between when I start to feel bad. I wonder if it's allergies. It doesn't really matter - I feel horrible, and the thought of being nice and chirpy to the public makes me cringe. So, probably a good idea I stayed home.

I always feel guilty, though. I hate leaving my co-workers in the lurch, and my boss scrambling to find someone to come in and cover for me. Hopefully since school is almost out it will be very, very quiet this week and next week.

I suppose I will go make some hot tea. And hope that the sheets are nearly dry; I think it's time for a nap.

Hooked on Make-up

So, after years of being in a make-up drought (like, not wearing any) I have suddenly become hooked on it again.

It's those Bare Escentuals that did it. I absolutely love them, and no, I'm not shilling for the company. There are many reasons for my love - and even though it's new, it's no infatuation.

First - It's fast to put on. I mean fast - like 3 minutes for the basics - foundation, mineral veil (a kind of translucent powder), lip balm and mascara. If I do the whole 9 yards, it takes me 5 minutes. By the whole 9 yards I mean concealer under the foundation (and the concealer is a crushed mineral powder, too) one or two colors of eyeshadow, eyeliner, and lipstick instead of lip balm.

Second - it's natural. It's hypo-allergenic, and there aren't any strange chemicals in the make-up. I haven't seen anything yet about animal testing though. I am all about no animal testing.

Third - the colors are very blendable - and beautiful. Anyone from an older person to a young person will find something they like.

I need new mascara - I am planning to order a few more eye shadows, the eye make-up kit (which comes with a mascara) and probably something else. I am also planning on getting the smokey eye kit (for if we ever go out to dinner again) and a few other things from them.

TS has even complimented me on wearing makeup again. He told me today that he liked this makeup because it was natural looking and not too much - which suits me. I like that, too. I like the fact he notices.

Maybe I won't ever go back to the days of carrying a make-up tackle box with me (I am not kidding) but I probably will keep wearing makeup again. It's too much fun not to.

Fashion Don't-Ever's

I have some very definite ideas about what looks good - what doesn't. Of course, these are my own soapboxes, and may be disassembled at any time.

One of today's pet-peeves - I hate seeing white women in Indian clothes. I mean the salwar kameez (tunic, pants and scarf) or choli suits or sari's. They are stunning on women who can pull it off. They look asinine on most Caucasian women. I love them - don't get me wrong - I have seen some that make me sigh with envy even, but on white girls - mostly ugh. With a few notable exceptions.

Fat girls should not wear shirts that reveal their bare stomachs, or shorts that are too short, or knit pants that are too tight. Unless you have one of those big bodies that is completely without cellulite, or white lines. You KNOW what I mean. I see no reason to be ashamed of a bigger body - but show off the GOOD parts. Most of us fat girls have fabulous killer boobs, stunning shoulders - and a lot of us have nice butts, no matter how big they are. But please, leave the midriff tops for at home wear.

Do not wear stained clothing. This is for everyone. Sure, sometimes you're at dinner and get tomato sauce on that white t-shirt (why is it always white?). Things happen. But, if the stain doesn't come out - save it for gardening, or painting, or better yet, throw it out because you already have a few stained shirts for those things. They just look bad.

People who wear other people's names plastered all over themselves. I don't get it. It just looks tacky. Unless you are at a sporting event and are a fan (I admit to Mario Andretti and Ayerton Senna baseball hats...) or, okay, even at the local sports bar or hanging out with your friends to watch the event - just don't. Especially designer stuff. The idea of designer stuff is that it's tasteful, well-made and either classic or fun. It doesn't need to have the name all over it - unless you need people to know YOU ARE WEARING DESIGNER CLOTHES! And, don't you have a better self-image than that?

Don't be a sheep. Find your own style. That goes for everyone.

Hansa the Elephant

Some sad news that Hansa the elephant died.

We went and saw her when she was a baby, and she was so cute. Watched her on videos playing in the water, and with her ball. What struck me about her was her visible delight with playing in the water. Her joy and her mischief when she was rolling the ball with her keeper. If anyone every doubts animals feel emotions, they should have seen her.

Her mother Chai's obvious love and care of her, draping a trunk over her back.

Animal activists are saying that the Woodland Park Zoo is cruel to the elephants, and that elephants should not be kept in captivity, and should be running free.

In my opinion, that's a nice dream, but not very practical. Where should they run free - Africa? Poachers and a lack of habitat being what they are, not a very good place for a captive bred elephant. Asia? Ditto that, with the addition of the elephants that are still used for work in some places. I wish all animals could run free in their natural habitats - but unless there is some kind of plague that wipes out 15/16 of the human race, it's not going to happen.

I guess it's a case of how you believe - that captive breeding programs may end up saving the animals. That animals who are in zoos can help sensitise all people to the plight of the wild animals in the world.

But today, I am not thinking about all of that, nor do I care. I care that Hansa died. I feel for her caretakers, who must be devastated. I hope they figure out what happened, so it doesn't happen to another elephant. But, it could also have been One of Those Things.

Rest in Peace Hansa, you were loved.

Video Gaming Drought

I miss gaming.

I used to spend anywhere from 1-12 hours a day playing World of Warcraft, or one of the many Sims variations. I like other kinds of games, too. So, why haven't I been?

A brief analysis shows that time has been a factor since about, oh March. When all the Stuff with Magic started. Then there was more Magical stuff. Then there was the floor re-do, which became urgent when you tossed in TS's surgery. Both of those together, plus work, plus normal stuff that has to be done. Writing more, a lot more. Blogging more, a lot more.

Every time I think I will have a weekend devoted to playing, I don't. Either something comes up, or I have to work, or it's far too glorious to be inside.

Now that all the bad stuff is over (knock on wood, and all) maybe I can get back to gaming.

I hope. At least a little.