Learning to Keep My Mouth Shut

Something I need to work on.

I am a naturally voluble person. I talk a lot, always have a story, some of which I tell repeatedly.

If you know me for long, you will know my life history, which I will volunteer without much prompting. Repeating the punchline of my story a few times for good measure is also something I do, not on purpose. I will join in on conversations I'm not really involved with, mostly at work.

Lately, I get the idea I've been irritating people. Granted, T.S. is in his stressful time of the year. If he was the only irritated person, I wouldn't care. But he's not. I have noticed signs from other people that I'm driving them stark raving mad. Okay, maybe my Drama Queen side just kicked in a little bit; more realistically - annoying them.

For the next week, I am going to try to not tell stories. Not interrupting or hijacking conversations, or going on and on about my personal life, which nobody really gives a rat's ass about anyway. No inane comments.

I am going to start listening.

I am going to not tell anyone at home about my work life (unless it's something huge, like "The boss resigned" or "I just got a huge raise". No more personal stories at work. If someone tells me a story, I will take it at face value. I will ask about other people, and not interject anything about myself. It's NOT all about me.
Telling stories is a way to keep the conversation going - but maybe not the best way.

So, going to work on it. Listen. Mouth Shut. Even if I have to think about Duct Tape to do it.

Things That Are Annoying Me Today

I try not to get annoyed very often. I fail more than I succeed.

The Things that are Annoying me today are;

It was my day off but I woke up at 8 AM, and got up anyway.
The person whose car horn has a short hasn't yet realized it's HIS car waking us up all night, and going off all day.
The landscaping timbers by the long flowerbed are still not fixed, and I nearly brained myself pulling weeds.
I think Tink the Cat has allowed one of her furry play-friends to escape into the house.
T.S. has a few things he needs to do this weekend; I have been asking him to do them for a long time.
I want a Mocha.

Now that I'm annoyed, I will try and get out of being annoyed by listing;

Things I am Happy About Today

I did all the chores I planned on.
We might have a thunderstorm this afternoon. I am a thunderstorm FAN!
I have Monday off.
T.S. will be home soon.
I put clean sheets on the bed...oooh, clean sheets tonight! (I love clean sheets)
Soon I am going to practice the guitar.
I'm going shopping tonight or tomorrow for t-shirts for our vacation trip!

Good things always out number the bad I find. Even though I am easily annoyed, I am also pleased by small things; maybe even stuff other people find silly. Too BAD!

Leave Britney Alone!

I don't know her. I don't know her husband. I honestly can say I have no desire to know either of them.

I am not a fan.

I thought her first song, was kind of cute. No, I don't remember the name. Aside from that, I have as little knowledge as I can manage; since she is so often featured in the news.
The media-fueled impression I have is of a person who is uneducated and unaware of the real world.


I find myself feeling sorry for her. She's a new mom. She's made some mistakes. She has photographers who take pictures of her every move, and seem to delight when she does anything wrong. It's disgusting.

I don't know any new mom's who haven't made a mistake or two they wouldn't want their own parents to know about, let alone have them broadcast on national TV.

I know personally of babies accidentally dropped on their heads, left on top of cars in car seats; driven to the store sitting on someone's lap. Babies who rolled off of changing tables, were stuck by diaper pins...and many more. (No, these were NOT the same baby. And, except for the guilt of the mother's involved, no lasting trauma.)

I have to say, I wish the media would leave the poor woman alone for awhile. The way they revel in her ignorance is vile. She'll learn - most parents do - how to take care of her kid. But do we have to see every trip, hear about every stupid thing?

Just leave the poor woman alone.

Living Together ? Test #2 The Bedroom

No, we will not be discussing kinky sex habits - sorry!

Second in my short series of tests is The Bedroom. While not quite as delicately fraught with mine fields as the bathroom, the bedroom has a fair share. Although most people don't decide to cohabitate (or marry) without extended sleep-over before hand, there are still some who don't; for whatever reason.

For me, the bedroom is the most personal room in my house. All my important stuff is there. I prefer comfort over style - most of the time.

Sleep-over bedroom behavior and living together behavior can be vastly different. The guy who wore silk p.j.'s during the courtship phase may, in fact, be a nude sleeper. The woman who wore nothing but lace may prefer a ratty oversized college t-shirt and a pair of bunny slippers. So - questions are good.

Test # 2 : The Bedroom

1. What temperature do you like the bedroom to be when you sleep?
a. Warm (above, say 70 degrees)
b. Medium (between 65 and 70)
c. Medium low (between 58 and 65)
d. Cool (under 58 degrees)

2. Do you like a window open during the night?
a. Never
b. Sometimes if it's warm
c. Often
d. Always, except when it's below freezing, and sometimes even then.

3. Do you like a fan going?
a. Never
b. Always
c. Depends on the temperature

4. Blankets
a. I prefer just a sheet
b. I like a light blanket in addition to a sheet
c. Depends on the temperature
d. I like a lot of blankets on the bed

5. Nightwear
a. Depends on the weather
b. Always - what if there is a fire?
c. Nothing
d. My favorite thing to wear to bed is__________________.
e. Depends on my mood.

6. Pillows
a. I like one pillow
b. 2 pillows
c. I will take all mine, and appropriate yours too during the night.
d. No pillows
e. ______pillows

7. Do you like to read before you sleep? (circle one) yes ----no

8. Can you sleep if someone else has a reading light on? (circle one) yes ---- no

9. Have people told you that you snore? (you don't have to believe them) yes ---- no

10. What kind of alarm do you prefer? Aside from no alarm; not usually an option.
a. Music
b. Not music
c. Loud
d. Soft

11. What type of alarm clock? A
a. Digital Face
b. Dial Face
c. Other

12. What type of alarm clock? B
a. Electric (with batter back up)
b. Battery
c. Wind up

13. When do you prefer to pick up your clothes after you get ready for bed?
a. I put them away that night
b. I put some of them away, and leave some of them for morning
c. I put them away in the morning
d. I wait for the elves to do it

14. What side of the bed to you prefer?
a. Right
b. Left
c. Whatever
d. Whichever side you're on

15. How often do you like to change the pillow cases?
a. Every day
b. Every few days
c. When the sheets are changed

16. How often do you prefer the sheets be changed?
a. Every day (you must have maids)
b. Every few days
c. Once a week
d. When they get dirty


From the Veterans: Remember, compromise is always possible. The sheet sleeper in our family often tosses all the blankets on the side of the person who prefers a pile of blankets on the bed. The person who prefers more blankets will often also add a blanket folded in half (or two) to their side during the winter.

Two alarms are an excellent idea, even if you get up at the same time. Trust us on this.

Buying all sheets the same color is helpful for folks who prefer to change their pillowcases more often than the sheets.

Living Together? Test #1 The Bathroom

I have been thinking it would be a good idea for people who are going to live together, or get married, to take some simple quizzes before they do the deed.

It would give each person a clue as to personal preferences. The tiny irritations which can lead to minor annoyances, that build up and become big, stinking fights. Which mostly begin, "You Never" and "You always", never good ways to begin. A good place to figure out what you can live with, and what you can't.

My first test will be about the bathroom. Yes, one would think that the first test should be about sexuality, or even holiday events or food preferences. Or cleaning requirements. (There is a whole blog in itself.) I think I will get to those later.

The first quiz should definitely cover the bathroom. The bathroom is the first place one visits in the morning. It is rife with delicate issues of sensibility and style. Especially if a person is not happy to be awake, or heading to work, and even worse for non-morning people. If anyone has any additional test questions they would like to see added, let me know. And keep in mind, no matter how much one thinks there are right and wrong answers to these questions there aren't.

Marriage Test #1 - The Bathroom

1. Company, or no company while using the toilet.
a. Never
b. Maybe when we've been together a long time
c. For some things, but not other things
d. Sure, if you must

2. Toilet seat lid
a. Always up
b. Always down
c. Whatever

2. Toilet paper A
a. Replace it when you use it up
b. The next person can replace it
c. Whatever

3. Toilet paper B
a. With the "tail" always in the back discreetly
b. With the "tail" always hanging over the front for easy access.
c. However it ends up

3. Toilet Paper C
a. Softest possible
b. Cheapest possible
c. Brand Name _____________ only
d. Whatever

4. Towels; after showering
a. Hang up to be re-used
b. Replace after every shower
c. Leave them on the floor for the elves
d. Whatever

5. Toothpaste
a. Squeeze only from the end
b. Squeeze from the middle
c. Squeeze wherever you grab - it's too early for that crap.

6. Toothbrushes A
a. In a covered receptacle
b. In a glass by the sink
c. ____________________

7. Toothbrushes B
a. Never use my toothbrush, or I will have to dispose of it, or sanitize it with bleach.
b. I don't care if you make a mistake and use mine, we share spit, don't we?
c. Whatever

8. Toilet Rugs
a. All the accoutrements - toilet lid cover, pee rug, tank cover, etc.
b. Pee rug, but none of that other crap.
c. Gross - none of that stuff

9. Bath mat
a. Hung up to dry after we shower
b. Left on the floor all the time
c. Gross; bath mats are a home for colonies of mold

10. Garbage
a. Emptied Daily
b. Emptied if there is gross stuff in it
c. Emptied when it gets full

11. Bath Soap A
a. Brand _____________ only
b. As long as it's deodorant
c. Sale brand or cheapest brand
d. Whatever

12. Bath Soap B
a. Rinse it after you use it; no hairs or other nasty stuff
b. Replace the bar if you use the last of it
c. All of the above
d. Whatever

12. Hair stuff A
a. Don't ever touch my brush and comb
b. If you must touch my brush and comb, make sure you clean the hair out of it
c. Comb only
d. Brush only
e. Whatever

13. Hair stuff B
a. Don't touch my shampoo, gel, spray or anything else
b. Use it, but don't you dare use the last of it and not tell me
c. Whatever

14. Makeup and deodorant (my guess is people will feel the same about both these things.)
a. Don't touch
b. Use in an emergency
c. Use it, but ONCE AGAIN don't you dare use the last of it and not tell!
c. Whatever


From the Veterans: When sharing a bathroom, it makes things much easier if you follow common courtesies. Clean up your hair - from the sink, from the tub. Wipe up any sprinkles on the toilet seat or surrounding area. Flush. Clean the toilet if something gross occurs. Apologize or use spray when needed.

Often there are easy solutions to things you don't care about that drive the other person wild. Separate toothpaste, soap and other personal products are a good thing. Also, compromise. (Example: I will always try to remember to flush, even if it's just tissue paper, if you try to remember to change the TP when you use it up.)

A note - always flush with the lid down. I found out a few years ago the flushing action of a toilet is similar to setting off a really large aerosol spray nozzle -when you flush, air, water, and particles of whatever you are flushing are expelled into the air over a bathroom-wide distance. Ewww. Closing the lid will contain the toxic cloud.

Who Could Be Against a Cancer Vaccine?

The Religious Right, that's who. I'm not talking conservatives, I am probably speaking of the same folks who feel contraception is little better than aboortion. The Ultra-Religious Right.

Fact:
Two different drug companies have come up with vaccines that prevent women from getting a sexually transmitted virus called human pampillomavirus that is one of the main causes of cervical cancer. While they are not available yet, the trials for these drugs have proved very successful.

Cervical cancer is one of the leading causes of death for women. This vaccine could stop most of those deaths. There are articles, just Google "pampillomavirus" and you'll find lots of information.

One of the best methods of prevention is vaccinating women who haven't been exposed to the virus yet. So, young women who haven't had sex yet. This seems like a logical point of view to me. Most of the transmission is, apparently, sexual. So, what's the problem, a logical person asks? Vaccinate the girls.

The Protest:
There are groups of the religious right who feel that such a vaccination would lead to teenagers thinking it was okay to have sex.

Can the people who feel this way really think their daughters are so naive that they will believe a single vaccination will protect them from AIDS, syphilis and pregnancy? I suppose a good girl would never be in a situation where they weren't being watched protectively by a parent, or a husband, because only girls on their own would get raped. Certainly future husbands of these women would never be unfaithful and bring the virus home to infect their wives, the mothers of their children!

Logic kind of makes me wonder if these folks also believe women who catch this virus must deserve to have cervical cancer.
Okay, maybe I'm over reacting a little there. ME! OVERREACT! NEVER!

It also makes me ponder - if such a vaccination was able to protect young men from future prostate cancer would it be so reviled by the same group?

Okay, Rant Over.

What's Going on with the Books?

In the last few months it's been difficult to find books I enjoy completely. Books that I can't put down. My most dependable authors have let me down. It's not that their books are bad, but they aren't holding my attention.

I am a voracious reader. In my own way I am particular about what I read, but I'm not a book snob.

For those of you who don't know - book snobs only read literature or good non-fiction. They do not deign to read most genre fiction like romance or science fiction, although they may sometimes read mysteries.

I will read anything if it has an interesting story. My favorite genre is Science Fiction and Fantasy, particularly the sub-genres of urban, paranormal and alien contact. Romance, especially modern romantic comedy. Mystery, Biology, Biographies, Popular Culture. I don't limit myself to those, however. I will read anything, fiction or non-fiction that catches my attention.

What do I like in a story?

If it's fiction, I like strong characters, male and female. I like well developed secondary characters, not cardboard cut-outs created to move the action along. I like a sense of place, although I don't want the author to go on and on about it. I am not a fan of unresolved endings, although I will tolerate them in a series.

I also prefer happy endings. Nothing irritates me more than to read an entire book, and then have it end; "and so the entire town was wiped out by cholera, and it was all for nothing." So, why did I read it?
In my opinion, real life is sad enough; I don't need an unhappy ending when I'm reading for entertainment.

If it's non-fiction, I want to be interested, not preached at. I feel non-fiction should have a narrative, not just cold facts. There are exceptions to this, such as the Books of Lists, which I adore. However, the author is rarely going to captivate me or convince me with just facts. Show me the other side, too, so I can make up my own mind. Often I will read several books after I become interested in a subject; I find it gives a better idea of the whole.

I have certain requirements for any book I read. The writing needs to flow. A sense of humor - doesn't have to provoke audible laughter. I am not bothered by editing mistakes, but they are distracting. If it's badly written I won't read it, even if I love everything about a book, the characters, the idea, the setting.

Of course there are exceptions to everything, even bad writing.

Summer is coming fast, and I don't want to be in reading limbo!

Hopefully my problem with books is MY problem, and not the writers. Perhaps I need to read some classics for awhile, to clear my readers palate.

Sometimes One Person Can Make A Difference

In January, I did a post called "People who Dump Garbage are Scum."

Finally I e-mailed the King County Illegal Dumping people, and complained about the garbage dumped along the green belt behind the strip mall.

Especially the computer monitor in the stream. Computer monitors leach heavy metals into the soil and water (you may already know this from other sources, sorry if it's redundant information). It bothered me more than all of the other garbage. There are many frogs and a pair of ducks living in that pond right now. Okay, probably not so many frogs anymore, thanks to the ducks.

So, this morning the guy from King County who was looking for the dump site called - unfortunately, he woke me up. I was less than coherent. He couldn't see any of the items I'd reported. I'm thinking 'How can you not see it!' and "He's going to think I'm a nut!' I explained again where it was with my limited directional skills. He told me he'd keep looking.

Several minutes later he called back. He apologized for bothering me again - and I explained I hadn't quite been awake when we first spoke. After a short conversation, he realized he was in the wrong area - he was behind the big chain grocery store across the street.

He reported, "I see the computer monitor. I'm going to grab it, and then talk to the grocery store, and maybe the property owner. We've received a lot of complaints about this site." I told him the property owner is quite elderly - if it's still the same guy it was a few years ago.

My report actually accomplished something. The computer monitor is out of the water. I couldn't have gotten it myself - it is in a stream. If I had moved it may have been my responsibility to get rid of it. My other thought is - a seeping computer monitor may draw attention to the bigger problem.

Maybe now something will be done about the garbage being dumped.

I guess the moral of the story is - don't just sit back and complain. Do something; even if it's making a call to someone who can do something.

I have been thinking about getting a garbage bag, and gathering up a bag of the garbage along our part of the greenbelt. With gloves on. I want to do more than make a call. I want to get rid of some of that garbage.
I'm tired of wondering if it's making the local soil and the creatures that live here sick.

Maybe one bag of garbage will make a difference, just like one phone call.

Next time, I am going to call immediately.

Where Does My Time Go?

I want to write more.

I have so many interesting ideas, and so little time.
During the work week I figure I have about an hour a day I'm not doing anything.

Where does the time go?
Sleep - 6-7 hours
Work - 8 hours
Commute - 2 1/2 hours (bus)
Exercise/shower/breakfast/house pick up AM - 2 hours
Dinner - 1 1/2 hours
Guitar Practice - 1/2 hour
House stuff PM - 1/2 hour
Wasted Time doing miscellaneous crap - 1 hour

Actually, part of that wasted time is writing in my journal, or my blogs, feeding the dogs and cats, (who certainly don't feel it's wasted time) but some of it is wasted on the internet. Although, some of it isn't "wasted" exactly. Like today I did some research for our Alaska trip. So...an hour.

My plan is to start spending at least some of the wasted time, and some of the other time writing. I have a few non-fiction things I'm working on. People tell me I need to write my memoirs about working with the public at the Library. I am starting to wonder if it might be fun. Also, eventually I want to write about the neighborhood I grew up in in Renton. It had an interesting history.

Also, I have about a thousand fiction stories percolating through my brain, waiting for me to finish them, or start them, or at least write the bones down so they don't melt away.

Gonna clear off some time. Guess I won't be playing Sims2 or WOW for awhile after all. Bummer.