Courtney Love has announced she's selling a bunch of Kurt Cobain's belongings through Christie's auction house.
The Fangirl part of me would love to have something. The woman who heard Smells like Teen Spirit for the first time on KNDD, and my breath caught. The one who didn't realize until a lot later it was the same band who did that strange but interesting remake of Love Buzz.
Even though I was older than his average fan, I totally got Nirvana. He spoke to that geeky, fat, zit-faced girl who never thought she would ever have a boyfriend. The girl who wore the same pair of jeans for six months once - jeans with a plaid fake-fur patch on the knee.
Not because I didn't have other jeans, but I was making a statement. Don't ask me what the statement was, but it was a statement.
The high-school girl who wanted to live in Seattle, and have cats, and go to foreign films and dress only in clothing from Baby & Co. and Goodwill.
That was the girl inside the woman who heard Nirvana and knew that whoever wrote the songs understood what it was like to be an outsider. To not fit in with any group, and who was both conflicted and happy about it.
I actually knew Kurt was a junkie before it was common knowledge to the entire world. I worked with someone who was a 'greener, and still had ties to that community. ('greener refers to someone who attended Evergreen College, the alternative collage in Olympia.) We talked about going to a show - she thought we might even be able to get backstage on her friend's coattails. She warned me that Krist was pretty wild and drank a lot, and that Kurt was into heroin.
I didn't care, because it was the music I cared about, not him. Yeah, I thought he was awesome. It would have been cool to meet him, even though he wouldn't have had much interest in me. But it was his talent, and his words, and the music that spoke to me, not him, personally. Drugs - well drugs are only one part of who a person is. I might not like the drugs, but that doesn't mean the person doesn't have value.
My co-worker got engaged to a super-straight guy, and I felt strange about going to a show with kids ten years younger than me. I regret not going to see them live.
TS called me at work to tell me when he died. I knew it was coming - I don't know why, but I knew it was only a matter of time at that point. I was upset. It was probably the only time I cried when a real life person I didn't know died.
I don't know what would have happened if he'd lived. Cleaned up, become someone who helped knew and unknown bands get known. I don't know. Burned out and faded away...maybe. Stayed a junkie and pulled his wife down with him...I don't know, she seems pretty strong for that to have happened.
All I know was that his music captured something for me. Something that encapsulated a time, and a place, and the longing for something different.
So, the FANGIRL wonders what it would be like to own something of his.
I have my own Fender Mustang now. A sonic blue repro. I like it. I didn't buy it because of Kurt, I bought it because I liked it, and it made me smile to find out he once played them too. I can play a couple of Nirvana songs, as long as I stay away from F, and B. I like to plug in my amp, and crank up the sound, and I don't care if I suck, it just feels good to play. Sometimes I even write my own songs.
So, maybe I really don't need a "thing" to remind me of him. He already gave me the most important thing, his music.
Monday, April 30, 2007
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Tarot and Other Stuff and 47 Things about Me.
I bought too much stuff Friday.
I bought The Far Sight Tarot, and the Quantum Tarot.
Then I bought make up, Bare Escentuals, a mineral make-up a bunch of people at work use. It's one of those 5 minute make-up things - and anything that takes me 5 minutes is a good thing. I like sleep. But they have lots of cool stuff, so I got the starter kit, and an extra kit that had a few more colors in it for eyes. If I like it, I might buy the beyond the basics kit, and the eye kit.
I can't decide why I have the sudden urge to spend money. I also bought a bunch of clothes this month. Maybe I am trying to fill the hole that Magic left in my life with "stuff?" I tend to not be a big stuff-buyer. Then again, I am really into tarot, and I am into clothes, and I want to start wearing make-up again. So, it's a combination of all those things, I suppose.
Tonight the natives are restless. There are squealing car tires all over, and I can hear someones stereo blaring. I miss the days when we were surrounded by fields on three sides, the fourth side is our gravel road, with one row of houses on one side. I miss the days when horses used to get loose and come galloping down into our field. Not the time we had the perk holes going, but the other times. I miss not having to call the cops at least once a month because something is going on.
I don't really have a topic, I just feel like writing.
The lottery is up to 69 million dollars. That would be enough money. (See previous posts on what I'd do if I won the lottery, LOL.) Enough money to only work if I wanted to. Enough so we could buy my condo in the French Quarter, and TS's house in Hawaii. Maybe even a cabin on a lake in Alaska.
I'm working with the Templar tarot this week. It's kind of weird and creepy. I like it, even though I find images of angels that run through out it kind of uncomfortable. Still, it's no light fluffy-bunny deck. But the angels bug me.
Being raised in an anti-religious family. I just don't get the whole church thing. Or the Bible. Especially the Old Testament. Never been able to get past Leviticus. I keep thinking I should read it again, just because you should read it before you die, and all that, but - ugh. So bloody. So disgusting. I like some of the New Testament IDEAS, but most people who say they are religious use the Bible to judge people instead. And twist it to what they want it to say. Yuck.
Back to Tarot. A non-religious subject. Maybe I should post my tarot reviews on my own blog, just because I can. I don't know. Maybe I should have yet another blog, the tarot blog...no, too much. I can just post it here, I guess, if I feel like it. Tarot is a lot of things to me. A lot of people don't get it; but that's okay. Not my problem, at least not yet.
See this is the really RANDOM part of VG Randomized. It's kind of the way I think, but honestly, my mind is going about a million miles faster than my fingers can type.
I can feel a cold breeze, and I wonder where it's coming from. Probably from the floor, somehow. I am hoping Tink didn't go down under the floor. Sigh. I will be glad when it's all fixed.
TS is in the hot tub. I didn't feel like getting in - I needed some chill out time, and if I go into the hot tub I have to make sure my hair is completely dry, otherwise I wake up all plugged up.
I found another cool site from our Learning 2.0 (27things) class we are taking at work. I am an advocate. Which means, I kind of have a clue about what we're doing, so I get the lessons early, so I can help people who need it. Anyway, the cool site is 43 Things. Like, a giant online LIST. I love lists. I might sign on there.
Well, since I am so bored, and this is going to be a long blog I guess, here is 47 Things about Me.
Yes, List and a quiz both - my favorites.
1. FIRST NAME? Barbra
2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? No. Barbra Streisand was still an unknown when my parents named me. They liked the alternate spelling.
3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? Yesterday afternoon, when I opened up the cardboard box that held Magic's ashes.
4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Yes, it is unique. Messy, but unique.
5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Roast Beef, but I mostly eat turkey. Pastrami is a runner up. Good Pastrami.
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? No. I am not good at the friend thing. I like my alone time. I like the idea of friends, just not the rest.
7. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? I have my written journal. I've kept one since I was a kid, off and on, and then from when I was in High School on. Also many blogs.
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yep.
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? I wouldn't NOW, too fat. I might if I got skinnier.
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Rice Crispies.
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Usually not. Most of my shoes don't have laces (ugly old Birkenstocks...)
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Mentally, yes. Physically - parts of me are.
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? Vanilla. But really, I like everything but say, banana, or anything with peanuts.
14. SHOE SIZE? 39 or 8 or 7 www
RED OR PINK? Red
16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? I am very self-centered, and I am a recovering Drama Queen.
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? My dad. I could talk to him about anything, almost.
18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? This is a BLOG. That would be very scary.
19. WHAT COLOR PANTS, SHIRT AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? No Shoes ATM. A grey ribbed cotton tank top, and my Gray cotton puppy print BIG DOG jammie bottoms.
20. LAST THING YOU ATE? Udderly Chocolate Tillamook Ice Cream, and Diet Coke.
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? The jingle of Nemo's dog tags as he walks through the house on the way to the doggie door, and outside. TS is watching his race, so I can hear the cars on the track, and the commentator. But I'm not really listening.
.22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Scarlett
23. FAVORITE SMELL? Summer Rain
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? TS, calling me to tell me he would be late picking me up.
25. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO? I am not attracted to people like that anymore. But when I WAS - it was the eyes. Were they kind? Hard? The expression in them was important. Also the lips - I like lips that seem kissable, not tight, angry lips. Lips that seem like they would smile easily.
26. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON you stole THIS from? I don't know her. I just ran across it when I was searching for something else.
27. FAVORITE DRINK? Non-alcoholic - Diet Coke, Coffee, Water, Sprite with pom juice, Coffee, and V8, which I can't drink anymore. And did I mention Coffee??? Alcoholic - wine, Vodka Gimlets, Vodka and OJ.
28. FAVORITE SPORT? Karting, to watch...baseball, maybe. Live.
29. EYE COLOR? Gray, but kind of a dark gray.
30. HAT SIZE? Medium
31. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Yes, sometimes.
32. FAVORITE FOOD? Too many. The only things I don't like at all are peanuts and raisins in other food, and pineapple on pizza. Okay, there are some things I would not eat, like horse or dog, or even rabbit (for reasons too lengthy to go into).
33. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Both. Depends on the mood. I like scary movies with happy endings. I prefer not to watch movies with sad endings. Real life is sad enough.
34 - there's no 34!
35. SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer! I love the world from May until the end of October...
36. HUGS OR KISSES? Both, please. But only from TS. Not a touchy-feely person.
37. FAVORITE DESSERT? All of them. From fresh fruit to gooey-ooey stuff....
38. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Probably nobody, but I don't care.
39. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Well, that would be the same as 38
40. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? Biography of Nirvana by Everett True (?), and Good Times, Bad Boys by Melanie Murray.
42. WHAT DID YOU WATCH LAST NIGHT ON TV? Ugly Betty, that was Tivo'd. I don't watch live TV much. I hate commercials.
43. FAVORITE SOUNDS? Rain, Stream in the woods, birds singing. Oh, frogs - I love that.
44. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Heh. STONES!!!
45. THE FURTHEST YOU’VE BEEN FROM HOME? New Orleans, I think.
46. WHAT’S YOUR SPECIAL TALENT? Writing, understanding people with accents, figuring things out, and pretending I am a nice person, when I'm not.
47. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Seattle
48. WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? I lifted it from a blog.
Okay, I guess I am done for the night. This has been a VERY random blog. Usually I have a subject in mind, but tonight I was just rambling.
Hopefully I am done buying "stuff" for awhile. Hopefully all this writing will be cathartic.
Wow. I didn't spell one word wrong, according to my friend Spellchecker. That's got to be a first.
I bought The Far Sight Tarot, and the Quantum Tarot.
Then I bought make up, Bare Escentuals, a mineral make-up a bunch of people at work use. It's one of those 5 minute make-up things - and anything that takes me 5 minutes is a good thing. I like sleep. But they have lots of cool stuff, so I got the starter kit, and an extra kit that had a few more colors in it for eyes. If I like it, I might buy the beyond the basics kit, and the eye kit.
I can't decide why I have the sudden urge to spend money. I also bought a bunch of clothes this month. Maybe I am trying to fill the hole that Magic left in my life with "stuff?" I tend to not be a big stuff-buyer. Then again, I am really into tarot, and I am into clothes, and I want to start wearing make-up again. So, it's a combination of all those things, I suppose.
Tonight the natives are restless. There are squealing car tires all over, and I can hear someones stereo blaring. I miss the days when we were surrounded by fields on three sides, the fourth side is our gravel road, with one row of houses on one side. I miss the days when horses used to get loose and come galloping down into our field. Not the time we had the perk holes going, but the other times. I miss not having to call the cops at least once a month because something is going on.
I don't really have a topic, I just feel like writing.
The lottery is up to 69 million dollars. That would be enough money. (See previous posts on what I'd do if I won the lottery, LOL.) Enough money to only work if I wanted to. Enough so we could buy my condo in the French Quarter, and TS's house in Hawaii. Maybe even a cabin on a lake in Alaska.
I'm working with the Templar tarot this week. It's kind of weird and creepy. I like it, even though I find images of angels that run through out it kind of uncomfortable. Still, it's no light fluffy-bunny deck. But the angels bug me.
Being raised in an anti-religious family. I just don't get the whole church thing. Or the Bible. Especially the Old Testament. Never been able to get past Leviticus. I keep thinking I should read it again, just because you should read it before you die, and all that, but - ugh. So bloody. So disgusting. I like some of the New Testament IDEAS, but most people who say they are religious use the Bible to judge people instead. And twist it to what they want it to say. Yuck.
Back to Tarot. A non-religious subject. Maybe I should post my tarot reviews on my own blog, just because I can. I don't know. Maybe I should have yet another blog, the tarot blog...no, too much. I can just post it here, I guess, if I feel like it. Tarot is a lot of things to me. A lot of people don't get it; but that's okay. Not my problem, at least not yet.
See this is the really RANDOM part of VG Randomized. It's kind of the way I think, but honestly, my mind is going about a million miles faster than my fingers can type.
I can feel a cold breeze, and I wonder where it's coming from. Probably from the floor, somehow. I am hoping Tink didn't go down under the floor. Sigh. I will be glad when it's all fixed.
TS is in the hot tub. I didn't feel like getting in - I needed some chill out time, and if I go into the hot tub I have to make sure my hair is completely dry, otherwise I wake up all plugged up.
I found another cool site from our Learning 2.0 (27things) class we are taking at work. I am an advocate. Which means, I kind of have a clue about what we're doing, so I get the lessons early, so I can help people who need it. Anyway, the cool site is 43 Things. Like, a giant online LIST. I love lists. I might sign on there.
Well, since I am so bored, and this is going to be a long blog I guess, here is 47 Things about Me.
Yes, List and a quiz both - my favorites.
1. FIRST NAME? Barbra
2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? No. Barbra Streisand was still an unknown when my parents named me. They liked the alternate spelling.
3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? Yesterday afternoon, when I opened up the cardboard box that held Magic's ashes.
4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Yes, it is unique. Messy, but unique.
5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Roast Beef, but I mostly eat turkey. Pastrami is a runner up. Good Pastrami.
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? No. I am not good at the friend thing. I like my alone time. I like the idea of friends, just not the rest.
7. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? I have my written journal. I've kept one since I was a kid, off and on, and then from when I was in High School on. Also many blogs.
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yep.
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? I wouldn't NOW, too fat. I might if I got skinnier.
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Rice Crispies.
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Usually not. Most of my shoes don't have laces (ugly old Birkenstocks...)
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Mentally, yes. Physically - parts of me are.
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? Vanilla. But really, I like everything but say, banana, or anything with peanuts.
14. SHOE SIZE? 39 or 8 or 7 www
RED OR PINK? Red
16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? I am very self-centered, and I am a recovering Drama Queen.
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? My dad. I could talk to him about anything, almost.
18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? This is a BLOG. That would be very scary.
19. WHAT COLOR PANTS, SHIRT AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? No Shoes ATM. A grey ribbed cotton tank top, and my Gray cotton puppy print BIG DOG jammie bottoms.
20. LAST THING YOU ATE? Udderly Chocolate Tillamook Ice Cream, and Diet Coke.
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? The jingle of Nemo's dog tags as he walks through the house on the way to the doggie door, and outside. TS is watching his race, so I can hear the cars on the track, and the commentator. But I'm not really listening.
.22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Scarlett
23. FAVORITE SMELL? Summer Rain
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? TS, calling me to tell me he would be late picking me up.
25. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO? I am not attracted to people like that anymore. But when I WAS - it was the eyes. Were they kind? Hard? The expression in them was important. Also the lips - I like lips that seem kissable, not tight, angry lips. Lips that seem like they would smile easily.
26. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON you stole THIS from? I don't know her. I just ran across it when I was searching for something else.
27. FAVORITE DRINK? Non-alcoholic - Diet Coke, Coffee, Water, Sprite with pom juice, Coffee, and V8, which I can't drink anymore. And did I mention Coffee??? Alcoholic - wine, Vodka Gimlets, Vodka and OJ.
28. FAVORITE SPORT? Karting, to watch...baseball, maybe. Live.
29. EYE COLOR? Gray, but kind of a dark gray.
30. HAT SIZE? Medium
31. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Yes, sometimes.
32. FAVORITE FOOD? Too many. The only things I don't like at all are peanuts and raisins in other food, and pineapple on pizza. Okay, there are some things I would not eat, like horse or dog, or even rabbit (for reasons too lengthy to go into).
33. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Both. Depends on the mood. I like scary movies with happy endings. I prefer not to watch movies with sad endings. Real life is sad enough.
34 - there's no 34!
35. SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer! I love the world from May until the end of October...
36. HUGS OR KISSES? Both, please. But only from TS. Not a touchy-feely person.
37. FAVORITE DESSERT? All of them. From fresh fruit to gooey-ooey stuff....
38. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Probably nobody, but I don't care.
39. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Well, that would be the same as 38
40. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? Biography of Nirvana by Everett True (?), and Good Times, Bad Boys by Melanie Murray.
42. WHAT DID YOU WATCH LAST NIGHT ON TV? Ugly Betty, that was Tivo'd. I don't watch live TV much. I hate commercials.
43. FAVORITE SOUNDS? Rain, Stream in the woods, birds singing. Oh, frogs - I love that.
44. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Heh. STONES!!!
45. THE FURTHEST YOU’VE BEEN FROM HOME? New Orleans, I think.
46. WHAT’S YOUR SPECIAL TALENT? Writing, understanding people with accents, figuring things out, and pretending I am a nice person, when I'm not.
47. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Seattle
48. WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? I lifted it from a blog.
Okay, I guess I am done for the night. This has been a VERY random blog. Usually I have a subject in mind, but tonight I was just rambling.
Hopefully I am done buying "stuff" for awhile. Hopefully all this writing will be cathartic.
Wow. I didn't spell one word wrong, according to my friend Spellchecker. That's got to be a first.
Friday, April 27, 2007
New Blogs
I have just started three new blogs.
I thought it would be fun.
One will be a dog blog. First, I will talk about dogs we have known and loved. Childhood Dogs, and then the dogs we have had as a couple, and then when we get our new puppy, we will blog about her/him. I am planning a daily blog about life with a new puppy. With pictures. And everything.
Then, after I had the bright idea about a dog blog, I thought, why not a cat blog, too? We have had numerous cats. Right now, we are down to one cat - the satanic cat, Tinkerbelle. Still, cats are interesting creatures, and once Tink is gone, we will be getting kittens. (Yes, plural. Because one cat is not enough - but Tinkerbell absolutely adores being the solitary cat in the house. So, until she is gone (which will probably be another 10 years minimum, barring Unforseen Events) no kitties.
Then I thought - Critter Blog!
Even though we are not actively planning on any more critter pets, besides Ernie, Turdie and The Fish, I will probably be adding more fish. And who knows, maybe another critter. I've often wanted a real chameleon. So, something fun to keep me writing.
I thought it would be fun.
One will be a dog blog. First, I will talk about dogs we have known and loved. Childhood Dogs, and then the dogs we have had as a couple, and then when we get our new puppy, we will blog about her/him. I am planning a daily blog about life with a new puppy. With pictures. And everything.
Then, after I had the bright idea about a dog blog, I thought, why not a cat blog, too? We have had numerous cats. Right now, we are down to one cat - the satanic cat, Tinkerbelle. Still, cats are interesting creatures, and once Tink is gone, we will be getting kittens. (Yes, plural. Because one cat is not enough - but Tinkerbell absolutely adores being the solitary cat in the house. So, until she is gone (which will probably be another 10 years minimum, barring Unforseen Events) no kitties.
Then I thought - Critter Blog!
Even though we are not actively planning on any more critter pets, besides Ernie, Turdie and The Fish, I will probably be adding more fish. And who knows, maybe another critter. I've often wanted a real chameleon. So, something fun to keep me writing.
If you are interested in checking out any of the new blogs, head over to
Not much there at the moment, but keep your eye out.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Randomess Squared
I have been even more random than usual.
I have been thinking a lot about racism, sexism, and all that other crap.
I am going to be deaf no longer.
I want those people to know it is not acceptable.
I am going to write letters. Make phone calls. Those are the easy things.
The hard thing is to politely tell an elderly patron that I find it offensive she is making an unacceptable comment about a racial group.
Or the elderly man that I do not care to hear his comments on why women should never be in the army.
I have yet to come up with a good overall strategy for this.
So if anyone has any suggestions, feel free.
I have been thinking a lot about death.
Probably because of Magic.
I don't know if there is a heaven or not. I lean toward the "when we are dead , we are dead" theory. Or, whatever we transform into is not "us" but either becomes part of something larger, or something else entirely. I like the idea of reincarnation. I have theories. But truly, we will not know what happens after we die, until we ourselves are dead.
I know that if heaven doesn't allow pets, I am absolutely not going.
I have been thinking about extra senses.
I think we have them.
I don't know if some people have them more strongly than others. I think nearly everyone has "something" I do think they are leftover from a time when we needed more than just our five senses to survive. I also think that someday what we now view as psychic or extraordinary phenomenon will be explained by science. Why, after all, does tarot work? What about things people have seen that can't be explained? Or felt? Or known? I have personally had all these experiences, and I am a realistic person. Although I have an excellent imagination, I tend to be a sceptic more than a believer. There are some things I have personally experienced that can't be explained away by coincidence.
I have been also thinking about projects.
We have a lot of them this spring. Fix the wet floor in our house. New floors in the utility room. Clean the carpeting. New doors, front and back. Build a fence in the back yard. Clean up the flowerbeds. There is a lot to do this year. I am ready.
I am also thinking of starting a daily blog when we start getting information about our new puppy.
With pictures.
About getting ready for a new dog.
Mistakes we make, and mistakes we made in the past.
Maybe even blog about our other dogs.
It might be fun.
If anyone has any suggestions or comments, feel free.
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Fun Home Projects You can Do......
So, this is what happens when the hot water leaks under the house.
Actually, even more of the floor will have to be cut away and replaced, but we have to live here while everything is drying out. Fun, huh?
Nemo Doesn't think so.
During they day when we're at work we have to put boards over the hole so Nemo can get in and out and walk around. If it was just the living room (right picture) we could just lock him in the utility room - but he has to go in and out through the utility room.
All the insulation will have to be replaced too.
We are just lucky that TS can do all the repairs himself, and not call in someone. But, I get to get rid of the ugly vinyl floor in the utility room.
And a new back door.
So, it's not all bad.
Just a pain in the neck, and the back, and the shoulder for Ken, until it gets done.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Let's Just Forget April, Okay?
This has been a horrible month so far. I want to skip to the end of all this heartache.
Magic died. I had the flu. Our floor in the living room and utility room is wavy like the ocean, probably because of a water leak.
Our Nephew broke his back racing his motorcycle. Luckily he will be okay, but it was very scary.
Upheaval and tension at work, with people quitting like rats jumping off a ship. Okay, most of them are because of other things, but it doesn't seem that way.
The shootings at Virginia Tech by a mentally disturbed guy. 33 people dead, because nobody was able to help that kid with whatever was wrong with him.
I am not one of those people who think guns should be completely banned. I grew up with a dad who hunted, who had a veritable arsenal, and who kept a loaded pistol in the bottom drawer of his dresser. Yes, we knew about it. We also knew if we touched it without meaning it, we would wish we were dead. If the house was being broken into, we were instructed to shoot to kill. (Yeah, RIGHT!)
It is unlikely that I will ever have a weapon in my house. I don't hunt, and it is highly improbable, barring total apocalypse, that I ever will. TS does not hunt.
OOps, almost got on the soap box, climbing down now.
A terrible week. A not-so fabulous month.
Let's just skip the rest of April, and go directly to May. The end of May. Maybe June.
Hopefully by then the floor will be fixed. Our nephew will be fixed. The worst of the horror at the VT massacre will be over. Maybe they will be able to help the next potential killer, if they can figure out why that guy snapped.
The weather will be good (we hope) and who knows, maybe by then, all things going well, we will be preparing for the arrival of a new puppy, that will help fill the empty spot where Magic was. Never replace - but will be loved for its own self.
I can hope, can't I?
We need some good news. So, on to June, Okay?
Magic died. I had the flu. Our floor in the living room and utility room is wavy like the ocean, probably because of a water leak.
Our Nephew broke his back racing his motorcycle. Luckily he will be okay, but it was very scary.
Upheaval and tension at work, with people quitting like rats jumping off a ship. Okay, most of them are because of other things, but it doesn't seem that way.
The shootings at Virginia Tech by a mentally disturbed guy. 33 people dead, because nobody was able to help that kid with whatever was wrong with him.
I am not one of those people who think guns should be completely banned. I grew up with a dad who hunted, who had a veritable arsenal, and who kept a loaded pistol in the bottom drawer of his dresser. Yes, we knew about it. We also knew if we touched it without meaning it, we would wish we were dead. If the house was being broken into, we were instructed to shoot to kill. (Yeah, RIGHT!)
It is unlikely that I will ever have a weapon in my house. I don't hunt, and it is highly improbable, barring total apocalypse, that I ever will. TS does not hunt.
OOps, almost got on the soap box, climbing down now.
A terrible week. A not-so fabulous month.
Let's just skip the rest of April, and go directly to May. The end of May. Maybe June.
Hopefully by then the floor will be fixed. Our nephew will be fixed. The worst of the horror at the VT massacre will be over. Maybe they will be able to help the next potential killer, if they can figure out why that guy snapped.
The weather will be good (we hope) and who knows, maybe by then, all things going well, we will be preparing for the arrival of a new puppy, that will help fill the empty spot where Magic was. Never replace - but will be loved for its own self.
I can hope, can't I?
We need some good news. So, on to June, Okay?
Saturday, April 14, 2007
Rest in Peace, Magic Man
We had to euthanize our dog Magic Man this week. I woke up Tuesday morning, and felt horrible. I decided to feed the dogs before I called in sick, so I could go back to bed, and not get pestered.
Magic didn't eat. Not only did he not eat, he threw up his cheese.I immediately woke up TS, and told him we needed to get Magic into the vet right away, something was wrong. He got up and showered while I called in to work, and then while I was in the shower he called the vet and told them we were coming in. When we got there, I went in and filled out paperwork, and TS took Magic outside so he could pee. Magic collapsed in the parking lot, and had to be brought in on a gurney. I knew then it was bad, but hoped he was just dehydrated because of a lack of fluids.
The vet techs took him in back, and showed us into a room. A bit later one of the techs came in, and said that after they started him on an IV he was much better. His gums had been pale, but pinked up. His tail was wagging, as usual. X-rays would be taken.We were thinking it was another obstruction, but we couldn't figure out what he could have possibly eaten.
Yes, he had eaten a few things in the recent past, but nothing lately. We had been vigilant since the sock incident. Buying a covered hamper, since we thought that he'd purloined the last socks from a full hamper. Getting a bathroom garbage can with a step-opening cover. Making sure tempting items were thrown away, put away, or well out of reach (in Magic's case this meant the top of the armoire, or entertainment center). Finally the doctor came in and told us she thought there was another obstruction. She showed us the x-rays, and said it was concerning, because the only clear soft-tissue picture in his abdomen was his kidneys. The intestines were unclear. But there were lots of gas bubbles (which by this time we knew meant blockage). She asked us if we would like the radiologist to take a look, although it would take longer. Of course, we said. The radiologist wanted to take more pictures. The doctor told us it might be awhile, since Magic was groggy from the pain medication they'd given him, and we should go. Because of his previous surgeries and problems, they wanted the board-certified soft tissue surgeon to preform the surgery. We said, fine. Paid for the surgery. Left.
A few hours later, I got a call. Yes, I was still sick as a dog, and worried about my dog. The news was worse than even my imagination. Magic did not have a blockage. The vet felt he had not healed properly after the second surgery. His intestines were stuck together, adhesions had apparently blocked the flow of blood, and now his intestines were dying. Parts were dead. They felt other organs could even be involved, but there was no way to know for sure, because they couldn't see anything. He was bleeding internally. The radiologist felt there was no possible hope. The surgeon was ready to go, but they had to go right then. Everyone made it clear he didn't have much of a chance, that probably the surgeon would be calling us from the operating table. I told them I had to talk to TS, but I would get right back to them.
I was in shock. This couldn't be happening. I talked to him, and he called them back, to make sure I didn't miss anything. He asked if, on the slight chance they could save him, if Magic would heal correctly. The vet said there was no way to know for sure - but it was likely, with his past history he would have the same, or similar issues. So even if they operated and as unlikely as it seemed, saves him, he might go through this again.
TS came home, and we talked it over. Initially, I wanted to do the surgery. I did NOT want to make the decision to let my boy go without fighting until the end, no matter what. But as we talked, I remembered the discussion we'd had after Magi's second surgery, when things looked grim. How I'd felt I would probably not want to put him through a third surgery, without being certain they could fix him. How bad I'd feel if he died on a cold operating table, surrounded by people who didn't love him. Or worse yet, come through this surgery and then have the same thing happen again, after he had seemingly recovered - when he really wasn't. We decided to let him go.
It was the hardest decision I have had to make. Yeah, maybe I'm lucky in that respect, but I don't feel lucky.
He wagged his tail when they brought him in, even though he was groggy, and in pain, even with the morphine.
We spent some time with him. The tech who came in to give us our refund for the surgery Magi wasn't having was crying, and apologized. I told her it was okay, I appreciated the fact she cared. It was a very peaceful ending. His head was in my lap. After it was over, he didn't look like my Magic anymore. Magic was gone.
The worst things about it were that there was no obvious sign of any problem. After his surgery, he was back to normal within a week. We followed all the instructions the vet had given us. He was eating normally, playing, digging, being his normal merry self. We played fetch the night before, and he had a great time, shaking his head as he brought back "Grunter" his rubber ball with feet and devil ears.
There were a few things that made me wonder if all was well, but nothing that made even paranoid me call the vet. Nothing abnormal, for a dog. Eating grass - so was Nemo. (So have every single one of our dogs - sick or well.) No diarrhea, which would have sent me to the phone immediately. Maybe the occasional soft stool, but then they would be fine. Nothing that couldn't be blamed on a sneaked french fry, or his still-tender system adjusting to a foot less of intestine. Not laying the same way he did pre-surgery. I think I even asked the vet who took his stitches out about that. She said he might be a little tender for awhile, things were still healing.
It was shocking to loose him so suddenly, and so young. I am having a very hard time. I know I will be okay, but it's so sad. He was such a lover. Such a sweet, merry, fun dog. He loved everyone, and everyone loved him back. I miss him jumping on the bed when the alarm goes off. I miss him coming over and just laying his head on my leg for a minute. Hugging him. The glint in his eye when he got something forbidden. His little "oof" when he lay his head down on my foot. His excitement when he saw something new. His lack of fear of the vacuum cleaner; he thought it was the Best Toy Ever. Watching him and Nemo play in the snow. His joy when we brought home a new toy. And of course, his gusto for food. His doggy kisses, even the slobbery ones, that grossed me out and made me laugh at the same time. His big old feet, and his soft nose. He is the fourth animal we have lost in a year. Cocoa to the wild, Suzie to cancer, Kiel to diabetes, and now Magic. I am so sad.
Magic didn't eat. Not only did he not eat, he threw up his cheese.I immediately woke up TS, and told him we needed to get Magic into the vet right away, something was wrong. He got up and showered while I called in to work, and then while I was in the shower he called the vet and told them we were coming in. When we got there, I went in and filled out paperwork, and TS took Magic outside so he could pee. Magic collapsed in the parking lot, and had to be brought in on a gurney. I knew then it was bad, but hoped he was just dehydrated because of a lack of fluids.
The vet techs took him in back, and showed us into a room. A bit later one of the techs came in, and said that after they started him on an IV he was much better. His gums had been pale, but pinked up. His tail was wagging, as usual. X-rays would be taken.We were thinking it was another obstruction, but we couldn't figure out what he could have possibly eaten.
Yes, he had eaten a few things in the recent past, but nothing lately. We had been vigilant since the sock incident. Buying a covered hamper, since we thought that he'd purloined the last socks from a full hamper. Getting a bathroom garbage can with a step-opening cover. Making sure tempting items were thrown away, put away, or well out of reach (in Magic's case this meant the top of the armoire, or entertainment center). Finally the doctor came in and told us she thought there was another obstruction. She showed us the x-rays, and said it was concerning, because the only clear soft-tissue picture in his abdomen was his kidneys. The intestines were unclear. But there were lots of gas bubbles (which by this time we knew meant blockage). She asked us if we would like the radiologist to take a look, although it would take longer. Of course, we said. The radiologist wanted to take more pictures. The doctor told us it might be awhile, since Magic was groggy from the pain medication they'd given him, and we should go. Because of his previous surgeries and problems, they wanted the board-certified soft tissue surgeon to preform the surgery. We said, fine. Paid for the surgery. Left.
A few hours later, I got a call. Yes, I was still sick as a dog, and worried about my dog. The news was worse than even my imagination. Magic did not have a blockage. The vet felt he had not healed properly after the second surgery. His intestines were stuck together, adhesions had apparently blocked the flow of blood, and now his intestines were dying. Parts were dead. They felt other organs could even be involved, but there was no way to know for sure, because they couldn't see anything. He was bleeding internally. The radiologist felt there was no possible hope. The surgeon was ready to go, but they had to go right then. Everyone made it clear he didn't have much of a chance, that probably the surgeon would be calling us from the operating table. I told them I had to talk to TS, but I would get right back to them.
I was in shock. This couldn't be happening. I talked to him, and he called them back, to make sure I didn't miss anything. He asked if, on the slight chance they could save him, if Magic would heal correctly. The vet said there was no way to know for sure - but it was likely, with his past history he would have the same, or similar issues. So even if they operated and as unlikely as it seemed, saves him, he might go through this again.
TS came home, and we talked it over. Initially, I wanted to do the surgery. I did NOT want to make the decision to let my boy go without fighting until the end, no matter what. But as we talked, I remembered the discussion we'd had after Magi's second surgery, when things looked grim. How I'd felt I would probably not want to put him through a third surgery, without being certain they could fix him. How bad I'd feel if he died on a cold operating table, surrounded by people who didn't love him. Or worse yet, come through this surgery and then have the same thing happen again, after he had seemingly recovered - when he really wasn't. We decided to let him go.
It was the hardest decision I have had to make. Yeah, maybe I'm lucky in that respect, but I don't feel lucky.
He wagged his tail when they brought him in, even though he was groggy, and in pain, even with the morphine.
We spent some time with him. The tech who came in to give us our refund for the surgery Magi wasn't having was crying, and apologized. I told her it was okay, I appreciated the fact she cared. It was a very peaceful ending. His head was in my lap. After it was over, he didn't look like my Magic anymore. Magic was gone.
The worst things about it were that there was no obvious sign of any problem. After his surgery, he was back to normal within a week. We followed all the instructions the vet had given us. He was eating normally, playing, digging, being his normal merry self. We played fetch the night before, and he had a great time, shaking his head as he brought back "Grunter" his rubber ball with feet and devil ears.
There were a few things that made me wonder if all was well, but nothing that made even paranoid me call the vet. Nothing abnormal, for a dog. Eating grass - so was Nemo. (So have every single one of our dogs - sick or well.) No diarrhea, which would have sent me to the phone immediately. Maybe the occasional soft stool, but then they would be fine. Nothing that couldn't be blamed on a sneaked french fry, or his still-tender system adjusting to a foot less of intestine. Not laying the same way he did pre-surgery. I think I even asked the vet who took his stitches out about that. She said he might be a little tender for awhile, things were still healing.
It was shocking to loose him so suddenly, and so young. I am having a very hard time. I know I will be okay, but it's so sad. He was such a lover. Such a sweet, merry, fun dog. He loved everyone, and everyone loved him back. I miss him jumping on the bed when the alarm goes off. I miss him coming over and just laying his head on my leg for a minute. Hugging him. The glint in his eye when he got something forbidden. His little "oof" when he lay his head down on my foot. His excitement when he saw something new. His lack of fear of the vacuum cleaner; he thought it was the Best Toy Ever. Watching him and Nemo play in the snow. His joy when we brought home a new toy. And of course, his gusto for food. His doggy kisses, even the slobbery ones, that grossed me out and made me laugh at the same time. His big old feet, and his soft nose. He is the fourth animal we have lost in a year. Cocoa to the wild, Suzie to cancer, Kiel to diabetes, and now Magic. I am so sad.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
15 Things We Learned about Puppies & Dogs
This is in memory of our Magic Man. Born August 31, 2006, died April 11, 2007.
And all the other dogs we've had over the years.
1. Never punish your dog for something you didn't see him do.
They don't really "get" that you are yelling at them about what they did. If you feel the need to be mad, stomp around and yell things like "WHO did this bad thing!" They will get the idea you aren't happy, but you won't end up with a dog that cringes when you yell.
I remember yelling at poor Toby for a lot of stuff. He did a lot of bad stuff, but he really didn't understand why I was so mad at him. He was
2. Never rub your dogs nose in his mistakes, or hit him with a newspaper, or hit him for any reason when potty training. (Never hit your dog, period.)
The only time it's okay to yell at your dog when potty training is if you catch him in the act of going potty. Then say "NO", and take him outside right away, and praise, praise praise. There are lots of great places that offer puppy kindergarten classes that will help you potty train your puppy in ways that make your life easier, and are effective and KIND.
3. Gentle training is better than strict training.
You want to make obedience fun, not a time of punishment. All the dogs we trained this way were much better behaved, and faster to learn. The old school obedience training involved mean corrections that were not necessary.
4. Training your puppy when he's young is the best.
Don't wait until you have a problem dog, start training right away. Puppies are so eager to learn, and eager to please - it is so easy to do and doesn't take much time. (Sorry Toby) Training is like a game to them. With treats.
5. Never give your dogs toys that are a.) small enough to fit completely into his mouth or b.) look like anything you don't want him to destroy.
This includes shoe shaped toys, stuffed toys (especially if you have kids) (we don't so our dogs sometimes get stuffed toys). Some dogs, like our Suzie, could not have toys with squeakers. She would rip the toy apart immediately to get at the squeaker. We also don't give rawhide toys. Our Nemo as a puppy felt that rawhide was the same as leather. Which led to the destruction of a few pairs of leather shoes, the leather around the tops of three pairs of tennis shoes, a leather belt (complete except for the buckle) and a couch cushion. I am missing a few things.
We have never given socks, except for possibly to Toby and Tasha, who were smaller dogs. Big mistake, Tasha was a clothes thief. Tasha used to steal clothing out of the dryer and bury it. Toys that fit in a dogs mouth can be swallowed. Don't give tennis balls to dogs that can swallow them. There are over sized tennis balls for this. I am very leery of nylabones, greenies, or anything like that. Our dogs jaws are too powerful. They can eat things that will really hurt them. They find enough stuff on their own, don't let toys be a part of it.
6. Start grooming your dog once a week when he's very young.
It's especially easy not to worry about short haired dogs. If you groom them once a week you can keep an eye on any skin problems, or hurt places, in addition to having your dogs used to grooming tools, and not thinking they are toys (Magic) or Items That Might Hurt Them (Nemo).
Toby, the Cocker Spaniel hated to have his feet touched. Suzie was always Very Concerned about the toenail clippers (although she would allow them to be clipped).
7. Take your dog many places when he's young. Introduce him to lots of people, and other dogs. Socialize, socialize, socialize.
This should almost be number one. It's true that every dog has a personality. Toby could be nice, but he was stubborn, and had the Cocker rage problem. Tasha was very, very smart, and very good. Both of them could have been much better dogs (with reservations) if we had been better at socializing them. Toby was good with people, but bad with other dogs. Tasha was actually good with everyone. Suzie was an angel dog. In spite of her breeds (Rottie/GSD) she loved other dogs. People - it took her a few years with us, but she gradually lost her suspicion of people she didn't know, and became a people-lover. Nemo has always been shy, and because of his hip displaysia we didn't socialize him as much as we should have - so he is very reserved. If he knows you, he loves you. If he doesn't know you - you must be a little spooky. Magic - loved everyone. Everyone loved him. Part of all these things was personality - part of it was socialization. Do it.
8. Crate Training is Good
While I am not a fan of keeping dogs in their crates all day, except when they eat or exercise, or go potty, I also feel they have a place in training. During the first few days of being in a new place, they are good. I also think that our next dog may be more crated than our other dogs. Just because it's an easy way to transport them.
9. Pay Attention to What you feed your dogs.
We have always fed our dogs good food. We also don't give them people food. People food is not good for dogs. Toby and Tasha probably got the most people food of all our dogs. Suzie got some, but then when Nemo came along, we gave him very little, and Magic got only a few things, mainly cheese, because we give Nemo cheese in the morning for his glucosamine. Listen to your breeder. Pay attention to your dog. Some dogs need special food, some don't. More expensive is not always better.
10. A skinny dog is better than a fat dog.
Of course, this goes for people too. But we learned the hard way with Suzie. When she was 11 we had to put her on a strict diet, because she was too fat. Her hips started going, and she could barely get up and down. After she lost 35 lbs, she was a different dog. Getting up and down was easy. She became more lively again, and more playful. It gave her several more years of life. So, now we keep our dogs on the lean side. (If only we could do the same for ourselves...)
11. Always remember that 30 lb puppy is going to be a 160 lb. dog.
Since we have big dogs, especially we remember this. A cute little puppy jumping on your head is cute, maybe a little funny. A 160 lb. dog (or in Nemo's case, 200 lb. dog) could be life-threatening. A small dog can still be a pain in many places - a two pound puppy might be a 20 lb dog. So keep that in mind when you are playing.
12. Don't let your dog be the boss.
Don't let your dog get away with dominate behavior. Our dogs nearly always are required to sit before they are fed, before they are let out into the field for a supervised run, for pretty much any fun thing. Even if they con you into giving them treats, make them sit before you give it to them. If you let dogs on the furniture, bed or anywhere else, they have to yield to humans. Nemo's "safe spot" is the couch, but sometimes we make him get off for us. He pouts, but even though he sighs and whines, he knows that we are the boss. If your dog ever snaps at you, or anyone else, seek professional help. Obedience training is very important.
13. Don't put your dog a losing situation.
Don't put a shy dog into a room with 20 screaming kids. Don't put an aggressive dog into a dog park without a leash. Don't corner a fearful dog. Be smart about your dog. Don't leave a dog that isn't used to kids with children. Don't let a small kid walk a large dog unsupervised. Don't walk a cat-hating dog without a leash in a neighborhood with cats. Forcing the issue is just going to make it worse. Nemo is a very shy and timid dog. As long as he feels he can flee if things get too bad, he's okay. Suzie was very wary of people she didn't know. We were very careful about introducing her to people. Gradually she got over that. But we were always aware that with her looks, it was better to be safe. Use common sense. Most problems can be overcome with training, but don't put your dog into situations that he could fail.
14. Keep your dog fenced.
Dogs , unless they are in the middle of nowhere USA, should never be allowed to run free. It's dangerous for them, and dangerous for other people. Dogs as a pack may do things a single dog would never do. Get hit by cars. Get lost during storms. It's just a bad idea. A fenced yard is the best. Some people say dogs should not be allowed out unsupervised even in a fenced yard - I mostly disagree with this. We have a dog door, and it works great. Our dogs have a small run, but also a big field to run in (supervised, since it's not entirely fenced). But we would never allow our dogs out of our yard without a leash. It's just not smart. Dangerous for the dog. UNLESS your dog is trained in off-leash healing. But, even the most highly trained dog will be tempted by things. Cats, say. Or squirrels. Someone with a treat. A dog across the street he's friends with.
15. Sometimes it's kinder to let them go.
All of our dogs, except Nemo, had to be euthanized. We know his time will come someday. It's a hard choice, but don't keep your dog (or cat, or llama) alive for you. Of course, the hope is that you will wake up and they will have died peacefully in their sleep. (I hope this for all my pets, but it rarely happens....) Sometimes, like with Magic, it is a very hard decision. Sometimes, like with Suzie - who had mouth cancer, it's not as hard.
Even when you are prepared, it's still not easy. But as a caretaker, sometimes it's the kindest choice to make.
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